If a Democratic lawmaker and her husband are gunned down, it’s an isolated incident carried out by a lone wolf.

If a right-wing activist is gunned down, it’s part of a coordinated effort by the radical left to incite violence.

If a gunman murders nineteen children at an elementary school, it’s disgusting to politicize the tragedy by talking about gun control.

If a Republican presidential candidate is targeted in an assassination attempt, it’s fair to blame it on left-wing rhetoric before the shooter has even been identified.

If a Christian Nationalist shoots up a synagogue, his values don’t reflect Christianity as a whole.

If a transgender woman shoots up a Catholic school, it’s because the entire LGBTQ community is conspiring to destroy Christianity. RuPaul probably ordered the hit.

If a man with a knife is arrested a block away from the home of a conservative Supreme Court justice, it’s a heinous act brought on by the radical feminist movement’s anger toward him.

If a man nearly beats the husband of a liberal Speaker of the House to death with a hammer, it’s a running joke for the next three years.

If a man shoots a Democratic congresswoman, he’s a mentally disturbed individual.

If a man shoots a Republican congressman, it’s because Bernie Sanders brainwashed him and turned him into a sleeper agent who is activated by the phrase “tax cut.”

If a mentally ill Black man fatally stabs a woman riding the light rail, it’s a “nationwide failure” on the part of Democrats.

If an Islamophobic white man fatally stabs two people riding the light rail, there’s no reason to think Republicans have done anything in the past twenty-five years to foment hatred of Muslims. Some people just wake up one morning hating entire groups of people.

If a white man is murdered by a sniper, anyone who so much as suggests that the killer’s motive may have been related to comments the victim made in the past should be fired from their job, put on a watch list, and doxxed. How dare they say anything that could be interpreted as being critical of the deceased?

If a Black man is murdered by the police, anyone digging up dirt on the victim to explain why his death was justified—like crimes he committed twenty years ago, or claiming he actually overdosed—is just laying out the facts.

If a Democratic governor talks about punching people in the mouth, he is obviously filled with insatiable bloodlust.

If a Republican president talks about punching people in the mouth, you’re the violent one for thinking he was being serious.

If a Democratic president is moved to tears by violence, he’s faking it.

If a Republican president repeatedly calls for violence, it’s just because he’s so full of love for America.

If a congresswoman says “We have to fight” while speaking at a rally about government accountability, she didn’t mean “fight” as in “apply sustained political pressure,” she meant “fight” as in “stab those bureaucrats until they release their data.”

If a Republican president says “We have to fight” to a group of armed rioters after months of repeatedly claiming an election has been stolen, he didn’t mean “fight” as in “storm the Capitol,” he meant “fight” as in the Beastie Boys’ lyrics “fight for your right to paaaar-tay.”

If a Democrat calls Republicans “fascists,” he basically just signed their death warrants.

If a Republican calls Democrats “Marxists,” or “the enemy from within,” or “vermin,” or “human scum,” he’s just trying to fire up the crowd.

If a social media addicted billionaire says “The left is the party murder,” it’s an indisputable fact.

If a think tank founded by the Koch brothers combs through the data and concludes that right-wing terrorism is responsible for far more deaths than left-wing terrorism, they were probably just cherry-picking.

All political violence is wrong.

But some political violence is more wrong than others.