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He Learned the Gestures

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Mood: Melted. There is no other word for it.

There is a practiced but familiar rhythm to my life that usually only I can hear. It is the rapid-fire thwip-thwip-click of a screen reader, the frantic, synthetic heartbeat of my phone as I navigate the world at five hundred words per minute. To anyone else, it sounds like a droid having a panic attack. To me, it is just the sound of access.

I know this rhythm so intimately that when someone is using a screen reader for the first time, desktop or mobile, it’s a kind of signal before I even say hello.

Usually, when a sighted person wants to help me with my phone, when an app updates and breaks its own accessibility labels, turning a useful tool into a minefield of "Button, Button, Unlabeled Button"—they take away the thing they don't know how to use.

It usually happens like this. They sigh, they take the device from my hand, and they then silence the voice, reverting to the world of the sighted. Of course, they fix the problem with their eyes before handing it back.

I am grateful for their help, certainly. But it is also a reminder that I live in a world that requires a translation layer they can simply peel away when it becomes inconvenient for them. Them turning off the screen reader reminds me that my world is something they'd rather get rid of, rather than ask me how to use the device with the screen reader enabled.

But there are those people that stun and amaze me. Not for what they say, but what they choose to do.

Tonight, I witnessed something that gave the word, love, a new dimension.

I was sitting on his couch, half-listening to a podcast, when I heard the distinct, robotic cadence of VoiceOver coming from the other end of the cushion. But it wasn't my phone chattering, and the rhythm was wrong. It wasn't the lightning-fast blur I use. It was slow. Deliberate. And extremely clumsy.

Swipe. Pause. Swipe. Pause. Double-tap... silence.

Then, the frustrated, rumbling baritone of his voice, muttering a soft curse.

"“The hell is that gesture again? You finna be thrown ‘cross the room if you don't behave.”

I froze. Anthony, a gay Black man I recently met, only had a passing interest in my world. He’d ask questions. I’d answer them. he seemed to be content never going beyond what I provided. this was unexpected and earth shattering.

I shifted, sliding my hand across the plushness of the couch until my fingers brushed his knee. He was tense, his leg muscle rigid.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Trying to order that Pizza," he grumbled. "The app updated. You said you couldn't find the checkout button yesterday."

"I know," I said. "But usually you just... look at it."

"Yeah, I'm not looking at it," he said, and I could hear the stubborn set of his jaw in his tone. "I turned the screen curtain on."

My chest did a strange, tight flip. Screen curtain is a feature that turns the display off entirely for privacy, forcing you to rely 100% on the audio. He was simulating blindness and not for a few minutes, only to be grateful he never has to be trapped in my world again. Anthony, who's moderately tech savvy, willingly plunged himself into my world. Given his tense muscles and tight voice, he’d been at this for a while. Nobody ever does this for their own understanding, at least, not in my universe. Still, I had to ask.

"Why?"

He paused. I heard his thumb drag across the glass again. “Unlabeled button,” the synth voice deadpanned.

"Because you were frustrated," he said, his voice sincere and vibrating with that chest-deep resonance that always grounds me. "You were frustrated yesterday, and I told you it was 'easy,' and you got quiet. I realized... I didn't know what I was talking about. I didn't know what you was goin' through every day. I wanted to feel what you feel when something ain't accessible."

He tapped the glass again. Thump-thump. A hollow sound. The gesture didn't take.

"How do you do the... the thing to go back?" he asked, sounding defeated. "I'm doing the Z-scrub gesture but my fingers are too big."

I had to bite my lip to keep from crying. Nobody ever did this long enough to understand. Here Anthony was, asking me how to navigate in my world instead of going back into his familiar sighted world.

I reached out, covering his large, warm hand with mine. I could feel the heat of his frustration, the tension in his fingers as they hovered over the glass. He was struggling. He was failing. He was experiencing the exact, maddening friction that defines so much of my digital life.

And it was the most romantic thing I have ever witnessed.

He wasn't trying to save me. He wasn't trying to be the hero who fixes the broken thing. He was trying to be with me in the brokenness. He wanted the empathy of shared frustration. He wanted to understand why I was tired, not just that I was tired.

"It's a two-finger scrub," I whispered, my voice emotional. "Like you're scratching a lottery ticket."

He tried it. Scrub-scrub.

“Back,” the phone announced.

"Got it," he breathed, and the relief in his voice was pure triumph.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, listening to the slow, stumbling rhythm of his fingers learning my language. It sounded like a child learning piano. It was the best sound in the world.

He never did find the checkout button. We ended up calling the restaurant. But as he sat there, struggling with a piece of glass in the dark, refusing to open his eyes to the easy way out, I realized that he hadn't just learned a gesture. He had learned me.

And that's what real love is all about.

If you enjoyed this show of care, you might like Daydream by Hannah Grace

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sarcozona
12 minutes ago
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Epiphyte City
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The untapped value of retrofit investments | Pembina Institute

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Some of the most valuable upgrades we can make to a building are the ones no one ever sees.

A stronger roof prevents damage from hail.

A tighter building envelope reduces heat loss and keeps out wildfire smoke. Better ventilation and filtration improve the air people breathe indoors.

These retrofit measures rarely show up in real estate listings or property appraisals. But these investments quietly protect people, reduce risk and improve how buildings perform over time.

And yet, when we talk about the business case for retrofits – comprehensive upgrades that generate benefits outside of energy and emissions reductions − much of that value is unaccounted for.

For years, the financial case for retrofitting buildings has been framed around two numbers: energy savings and emissions reductions. But buildings do far more than consume energy that produces emissions. They shape our health, our resilience to severe weather, the affordability of our homes and even the stability of our insurance markets. When we only measure energy savings, we miss much of the value that whole building retrofits create.

The hidden value of better buildings

When buildings are more efficient and durable, tenants experience lower costs, insurers face fewer climate related claims, and utilities see reduced demand pressures. Improved indoor air quality also delivers better public health outcomes.

In other words, better buildings create value across multiple systems: housing, health, insurance, energy, and local economies.

The challenge is that these benefits are spread across different systems and they rarely show up in the financial equation building owners use to make decisions.

A building owner deciding whether to invest in a retrofit typically assesses a narrow cost-benefits calculation: upfront capital costs weighed against projected lower utility bills from energy savings. Many of the broader benefits – reduced insurance risk, improved occupant health, lower utility system costs and increased resilience – sit outside of that calculation.

The result is misalignment. Retrofits generate benefits for residents, industry, utilities and governments, but investors are unable to incorporate the value of those benefits into the retrofit business case.

A broader business case is emerging

Recognizing this gap is leading to a new way of thinking about retrofit investments.

An emerging retrofit business case looks beyond energy savings and begins to unlock the broader value buildings provide to communities and systems.

Research across Canada increasingly shows that improving building performance can reduce the health impacts of wildfire smoke and poor indoor environments. Stronger roofs and building envelopes can limit damage from severe weather, reducing losses for property owners and insurers.

The real estate sector is also beginning to explore how building performance and climate resilience could influence long-term asset value and property risk.

Utilities are recognizing that high-performing buildings can support a more resilient and flexible energy system by lowering peak demand and enabling smarter energy use.

Taken together, these insights point to a larger truth: the value of better buildings extends far beyond the utility bill.

Why more sectors need to be part of the solution

Unlocking that value means all orders of government, utilities, insurers, investors, and building owners must work together to keep Canadians healthy and safe.

Real estate professionals and lenders influence how building features translate into property value and investment decisions. Insurers understand the financial risks associated with climate-related damage. Mortgage holders benefit from the relationship between lower operating costs and higher loan repayment. Utilities see how efficient buildings contribute to grid reliability. Governments experience the downstream impacts through healthcare costs, disaster recovery spending, and housing affordability challenges.

Each of these market participants benefits when buildings perform better.

Today, however, these systems largely operate in silos. The financial signals that guide building decisions rarely reflect the full value that retrofits create.

Aligning these perspectives could unlock new ways of recognizing and supporting retrofit investments – through insurance incentives, improved valuation practices, financing tools, utility programs, or targeted public policy.

Rethinking how we value our buildings

Canada’s buildings are entering a new era. Climate risks are growing, energy costs are rising, and housing affordability remains a challenge across many communities. Improving the performance and resilience of existing buildings is becoming essential.

Building owners, however, cannot carry this transition alone.

If stronger buildings reduce insurance losses, improve public health outcomes, stabilize energy systems, and protect communities from climate risk, then the institutions that benefit from those outcomes should help recognize and reward the investments that make them possible.

That means insurers valuing risk reduction. Real estate markets recognizing durable, high-performance buildings as stronger assets. Governments supporting investments that reduce long-term public costs. Utilities enabling buildings to play a more active role in a resilient energy system.

When these signals begin to align, retrofits stop looking like a cost – and start looking like what they truly are: investments in stronger buildings, healthier communities, and a more resilient economy.

The Pembina Institute acknowledges the generous support of the Alberta Ecotrust Foundation.

Alberta Ecotrust logo

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sarcozona
18 minutes ago
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Understanding the flood of CO2 pouring out of Canada’s managed forest | Canada's National Observer: Climate News

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Canada’s managed forest is one of the largest living reservoirs of carbon on the planet. For centuries it slowly filled, as billions of growing trees pulled carbon dioxide (CO2) from the air and stored it away in their wood. This ancient, continent-spanning "carbon sink" now locks away more than 100 billion tonnes of CO2, helping keep the climate calm and cool. 

But the flow of CO2 has completely reversed in the last couple of decades. What started as a trickle has turned into a growing flood of CO2. And that flood surged right off the charts in both 2023 and 2024.

The amount of Canadian forest carbon pouring into the atmosphere now dwarfs the fossil fuel emissions of most nations. And this crisis is accelerating.

That’s the sobering story told by Canada’s recently released National Inventory Report (NIR) which covers our nation’s managed forest carbon from 1990 through 2024. 

More than four billion tonnes, so far

Unlike most forms of pollution that dissipate quickly, CO2 can persist for centuries, building up in the atmosphere and oceans. As a result, it is our cumulative emissions of CO2 that determine how extreme the climate emergency will become for ourselves and for generations to come.

My first chart focuses on the cumulative CO2 emitted by Canada’s managed forest carbon since 1990.

All this CO2 used to be stored away in wood and soils. Now it is in the atmosphere.

Three critical things jump out at me from this chart. 

The first is the massive scale of these emissions — 4,200 million tonnes of CO2 (MtCO2) by the end of 2024. For comparison, most of the world’s nations emitted far less CO2 during those years. 

A second key thing to note is that Canada’s managed forest used to be a helpful CO2 sink (green line). During the 1990s, the forest was removing more CO2 from the air than it was losing — and locking that extra CO2 away in wood and soils. 

But starting in the early 2000s, more forest carbon has been turned back into CO2 than the forest replaced. This shift from CO2 sink to CO2 source has pumped billions of tonnes of CO2 into the atmosphere, as shown by the rising red line.

And the third critical takeaway from this chart is that the red line isn’t rising steadily; it’s accelerating.

An accelerating crisis

My next chart lets you see the acceleration more clearly. It focuses on annual changes, with each year having its own bar. 

Years when more managed forest carbon was turned into CO2 than the forest recaptured are shown in red. Green shows the opposite.

During the 1990s, most years were green. 

Starting in 2002, however, every year has been red. That’s 22 straight years of adding CO2 to the atmosphere. 

And notice how the red bars keep growing more extreme. This shows that the crisis is accelerating — much like a boulder rolling downhill. 

In 2023 and 2024, this acceleration jumped to a new level. With record-smashing emissions of 1,000 MtCO2 and 430 MtCO2, these years were many times more extreme than the worst years just a decade ago. The rolling boulder is gaining speed as it careens through our forests.

Those red bars vary a lot from year to year. When climate scientists want to more clearly understand the underlying trend in “noisy” data like this, they often look at decade averages. I’ve shown decade averages as black horizontal lines on the chart. 

During the 1990s decade, the forest removed an average of 10 MtCO2 from the atmosphere each year. It was a small, net carbon sink. By the middle decade, however, carbon losses dominated and 110 MtCO2 was emitted each year on average. And then, during the most recent decade, the average leaped to nearly 300 MtCO2 emitted per year. If we allow this trend to continue, the decades ahead will be overwhelmingly worse.

Where is all the CO2 coming from?

Canada’s NIR reports managed forest carbon in six main categories. My next chart shows the cumulative CO2 impact for each one since 1990.

Four categories have been net CO2 sources (red bars), while two have been net CO2 sinks (green bars). As we saw above, all of them combined resulted in net emissions of 4,200 MtCO2 since 1990. That total is shown by the red bar on the right.

The first two sources come from logging.

Harvested wood has emitted more than four and a half billion tonnes of CO2 since 1990. That’s from the burning and decay of wood hauled out of the forest. The dashed box shows that another billion tonnes of CO2 waits in wood still in use. 

Forest areas that have been logged emitted an additional three billion tonnes. 

The remaining two sources come from insects and wildfire. These were formerly low-level impacts. In the last couple of decades, however, they’ve been turbocharged by our fossil-fueled climate shifts. Canada’s forests have drawn the short climate straw because they are overheating and drying out much faster than southern ones. 

Native insects, such as bark beetles, have been helped by our fossil-fueled warming and drought, while the giant trees they feed have been weakened. Explosive insect outbreaks have resulted in a billion tonnes of CO2 since 1990.

Wildfire has also been turbocharged by our fossil-fueled warming and drought. Wildfires continue to explode in increasing scale and ferocity. Nearly five billion tonnes of CO2 have been directly emitted by wildfires since 1990. 

Those four CO2 sources — harvested wood, logged areas, insects and wildfire — have collectively emitted 13 billion tonnes of CO2 since 1990.

The forest’s two sinks have pulled nine billion tonnes of CO2 back out of the air and stored it away in wood. These are shown by the green bars on the chart. 

The largest sink is unlogged forest areas with mature trees. These areas, which humans have mostly left alone, removed six billion tonnes of CO2 from the air since 1990. 

The smaller sink is forest areas recovering from wildfire. Regrowth after wildfires has removed three billion tonnes of CO2. This has partly offset the five billion tonnes directly emitted by wildfire. Unfortunately, the data shows that this post-wildfire sink has stopped growing. The annual amount of CO2 recaptured by it has dropped to zero.

As the chart above illustrates, billions of tonnes of CO2 that were locked away in forest carbon have drained back out on the backs of logging trucks and in the swirling smoke of fossil-fueled wildfires. This flood of CO2 is far larger than Canada’s managed forest has been able to recapture. 

If we want to rein in this metastasizing climate threat while we still can, we need to bring our managed forest back into carbon balance with the atmosphere.

There is plenty more CO2 where that came from

The 4,200 MtCO2 of Canada’s managed forest carbon that has already been lost to the atmosphere is a tiny fraction of what remains.

A study by Natural Resources Canada pegs the "wood volume" in Canada’s forests at 50 billion cubic metres. That much wood stores around 60,000 MtCO2. A similar amount is held in roots and soil. This suggests at least 100,000 MtCO2 remains stored in our forest. 

If we are foolish enough to keep cranking open the floodgates on this massive carbon reservoir, there is more than enough CO2 remaining to overwhelm any climate progress Canadians make elsewhere. 

And there’s more than enough to fill our lives with chaotic megafires and choking smoke for centuries to come.

In her classic 2006 climate book, Field Notes from a Catastrophe, Elizabeth Kolbert relates a FAFO warning from climate scientist Donald Perovich: 

“You’ve got a big boulder sitting there on this rolling hill … you start rocking it, and you get a bunch of friends, and they start rocking it, and finally it starts moving. And then you realize, maybe this wasn’t the best idea. That’s what we’re doing as a society.” 

We, and the great ecosystems we rely on, would be in a much safer place today if we’d acted decades ago. The next best time is now.

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How frustration at Cop stalemates inspires first global talks on phasing out fossil fuels

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‘Coalition of the willing’ gathers in Colombia to try to bypass petrostate blockages of Cop summits and chart fresh path

The world’s first Transitioning Away from Fossil Fuels conference, co-hosted by Colombia and the Netherlands, takes place in Santa Marta, Colombia, from 24 to 29 April. A “coalition of the willing” – including 54 countries and various subnational governments, civil society groups and academics – will try to chart a new path to powering the world with low-carbon energy.

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Canada's top envoy to Washington apologizes for sending an English-only invitation

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Canada's top envoy to Washington apologized on Thursday for sending an English-only invitation to members of Parliament at a committee meeting in Ottawa where he faced questions about supply management and the state of trade negotiations with the United States.
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sarcozona
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Good lord now is not the time to antagonize Quebec
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‘We're really worried’: 4 grey whales found dead off B.C. coast in 10 days | CBC News

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A recent surge of grey whale deaths off the B.C. coast has researchers concerned.

The Department of Fisheries and Oceans (DFO) responded to four dead whales off the west coast of Vancouver Island in 10 days.

DFO marine mammals co-ordinator Paul Cottrell said three necropsies were performed with the help of Huu-ay-aht, Kyuquot/Cheklesaht, and W̱SÁNEĆ First Nations.

"Two are severely emaciated. They’re basically a bag of bones, really sad to see that kind of body condition," Cottrell said.

A grey whale found near Sidney, B.C., was towed by DFO on April 17 so a necropsy could be done. (DFO)

On April 8, a grey whale was found dead near Barkley Sound and a second dead grey whale was discovered on April 9 near Kyuquot. The next day another grey whale was found floating in Barkley Sound. The fourth grey whale was discovered off Sidney on April 17.

"Some of the worst animals I've ever seen," Cottrell said.

A total of five grey whales have been found dead in B.C. waters this year, and researchers believe a dramatic decline in available prey in their Arctic feeding grounds is to blame for the deaths.

"Last year, feeding in the Bering and Chukchi Seas was really not a great year for grey whales," Cottrell said.

Stephen Raverty with B.C.'s Ministry of Agriculture and Food led a necropsy on a whale that was found dead off of Sidney on Vancouver Island. (Stephen Raverty)

John Calambokidis, a research biologist at Cascadia Research Collective, said 13 dead grey whales have been found dead this year off Washington state.

Calambokidis said dead whales are being found "at a rate that has surprised us."

The Marine Mammal Center and the California Academy of Sciences confirmed eight grey whale deaths in the San Francisco Bay Area so far this year.

"Never have they come at this pace this early, so we're really worried about where this is headed," Calambokidis said.

A grey whale was spotted in the San Francisco Bay by the Marine Mammal Center’s Cetacean Conservation Biology team on Feb. 26. The centre's data has shown individual grey whales are spending longer periods of time in the bay where many are actively foraging, heightening the risk of vessel strikes. (Darrin Allen/The Marine Mammal Center)

Grey whales primarily feed on benthic amphipods, small crustaceans found in the bottom sediment.

"There has been documentation of declines in those benthic amphipod populations, but all of that is also complicated by the fact that the most dramatic changes in the Arctic ecosystem have been this progressive overall loss in ice cover," Calambokidis said.

Declining grey whale population 'alarming,' says researcher

The grey whale population has been dwindling, estimated at just under 13,000.

"That was less than half what it had been 10 years previous, so a greater than 50 per cent decline in 10 years is alarming," Calambokidis said.

Back in 2019, there was a significant spike with 216 grey whales found dead.

"It was declared an unusual mortality event. We actually declared that over in 2023," Calambokidis said.

A skinny grey whale is photographed on April 17 in Barkley Sound off Vancouver Island. (Wendy Szaniszlo/DFO)

This year could surpass the worst year in B.C. when 11 dead grey whales were discovered in 2019, according to Cottrell.

"We could be in for a worse year than the worst year that we've had," Cottrell said.

There are also concerns about the calf production rate as the females are not healthy enough to have babies, he said.

"[It’s] the lowest calf production on record, in recent history, so that doesn't bode well," Cottrell said.

Last year, 158 grey whales were found dead, four of them in Canadian waters.

A grey whale seen swimming in the waters off Vancouver in March. (Alex Cole)

Both Cottrell and Calambokidis expect the number of deaths to continue rising as the whales migrate through to June.

"We're only a very small portion of the way through that," Calambokidis said.

More research needed

Wendy Szaniszlo, a DFO marine mammal technician on Vancouver Island, saw a group of grey whales off Barkley Sound on April 17.

"It looked like almost two-thirds of them were very skinny," Szaniszlo said. "Their scapula or shoulder blades were protruding."

She thinks more research would help the population as "there is very little known about grey whales in B.C."

Wendy Szaniszlo says she saw 20 grey whales feeding off Vancouver Island and said almost two-thirds of them were very skinny. (Wendy Szaniszlo/DFO)

"Without knowing what prey types are important to them and what habitat is important to them, it's going to make it really hard to try to protect," Szaniszlo said.

She encourages anyone on the water to give grey whales lots of space and report any dying whales to DFO immediately.

Cottrell said necropsies are important to find out exactly what is going on and rule out pathogens.

"It's important to really pay attention when we have this migrating species that covers great distances and feeds on small critters, it can be a real indication of things to come," Cottrell said.

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sarcozona
2 days ago
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